Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Jackasses with Bullhorns – Pat Robertson Vs. Hugo Chavez

People of every political color spoke up yesterday against Pat Robertson’s absurd utterance on his TV show, “The 700 Club” or as I like to call it, “Sit in Awe of Our Piety while You Watch Us Pray on TV.” And, of course, it was a silly thing to say. That’s not to say that we won’t do it, it’s just you don’t go out on the crazy limb until the government goes there first. Then Pat and every other meaningless mouth on TV can dance on that limb – debating their extreme sides of it.

Craziness, on the national level, is a very subjective thing. Think of the major issues being debated today and consider whether or not they would have seemed silly to even consider only a few years ago. Many would.

There’s a skill and a subtlety to floating the crazy balloon. First, you spend months softening the ground. Leak reports, testify before Congress and the UN, issue statements, and repeat. Keep repeating until even the subject matter is reduced to an acronym. When Jay Leno uses it in his monologue, you’re ready for the next step.

In this case, a debate should have been started months ago about whether or not we should explore the viability of eliminating leaders of oil producing empires. Reports should have been leaked about findings of the specific sins of these bastards; high ranking officials should have been sent before various national and world bodies with plenty of visual props to testify about the dangers of letting such leaders continue their frightening rule. Then when the White house press corps started asked about the issue, the press secretary could have let them know that those in the know are calling it ELOPE, short for Elimination of Leaders of Oil Producing Empires. So, when the conversation turned to specific people, it would have sounded so much better. It also makes the transition to late night talk shows that much easier. Just think of all the possible jokes about eloping.

Now the ground would have been soft. People would be ready to hear that we want to kill Hugo Chavez. Some would even be clamoring for it. Now Pat Robertson wouldn’t be a crazy shouting alone, he’d be the spokesman for the religious right taking a courageous position as the leader in a just cause. And it would sound so much better – “If Hugo Chavez is looking for a fight, maybe we should just elope him and save a few dollars on a full blown war!”

Is Pat really that inept? As he pointed out today this has really all been taken out of context and blown out of proportion. He explained that he never used the word assassination, he said “take him out” and, naturally that doesn’t exactly mean assassinate. It could mean kidnap or any number of other things.

Right Pat!

You probably don’t need to worry too much about spinning this one; the debate is probably in its last throes.

But I’ll give Pat the last word here. From his Monday broadcast: "If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it…" (He’s right, he used a pronoun in assassination’s place. Whew, dodge the bullet on that one, didn’t you, Patty?)

10 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Anonymous10:05 AM

    I CANT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST READ, PAT ROBERTSON SHOULD BE IN JAIL, FOR SAYING IN NATIONAL TELEVISION TO KILL A FOREIGNER PRESIDENT, THAT IS A CRIME IN MY COUNTRY, SHOULD BE IN YOURS TOO.

    ITS UNBELIEVEBLE HOY PEOPLE OF THE RELIGIOUS TV ARE NOW INTO POLITICS, THEY SHOUND'T DO THAT. NOW PAT ROBERTSON GAVE CHAVEZ THE REASON IN 100%. HE'S BEEN TELLING LATIN AMERICA THAT BUSH ADMINISTRATIONS WANTS TO KILL, NOW PAT ROBERTSON SAY IT'S TRUE.

    BUSH IS TRYING TO CLEAN HIS IMAGE IN LATIN AMERICA AFTER THE WAR, BESIDES EL SALVADOR NO ONE IS TRUSTING HIM NOW, WE DON'T LIKE HIM. HE CAN START A WAR AGAINST VENEZUELA AND KILL CHAVEZ, BUT THE WORLD WOULD FINALLY KNOW THAT BUSH IS JUST TRYING TO BE THE EMPEROR OF THE WORLD.

    NOW CHINA IS GIVING LATIN AMERICA MORE MONEY THAN THE US ALMOST FOR FREE, WE DONT CONSIDER AMERICA AS FRIEND JUST A BUSSINESS PARTNER. WHEN THE US IS NO LONGER THE BIGGEST ONE THEN WE ALL WILL TURN OUR BACKS TO THE US.

    AND CHAVEZ, FIDEL, AND PEKIN WOULD HAVE WON.

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  3. Anonymous10:06 AM

    THANKS BUSH. FOR BEING AND IDIOT

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  4. you asked me what RSS meant, but i dont know where you read that. I did write ESP. Maybe its the font. Dunno.

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  6. Anonymous4:32 PM

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  7. haha, you are an interesting person, not that i agree with much of what you said :) are you trying to start a business? i was curious as to why you left that comment on my blog. i also noticed that you are an aspiring writer. have you been published before? i was an english major. i didn't read all of the story, but if you tweaked it a bit it would flow much better. good start. and if it just bugs you to all get out that i'm commenting on here like this never mind! :D

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  9. hello and thanks for your visit! nice site.

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  10. Herregud. Du kan förmodligen inte ens svenska så varför lämna en så himla muppig kommentar på min blogg. Skärp dig.

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