Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Loving This Week with Larry Miller

I love the Christopher Guest movies - Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, and For Your Consideration. So much so that I've bought the DVDs of each of them and watched the "movie with commentary" part of each of these films. I bring that up to say this: on one of them, I forget which, Christopher says that no one can wear short sleeves like Larry Miller. I have no idea why I know what that means but I do and it's so totally true.


Larry Miller can play an asshole like no one else. But, he is the farthest thing from an asshole of any person I know of. The first inkling of this I had was when I listened to his interview on Marc Maron's WTF. Now, I'm a subscriber of his podcast, This Week with Larry Miller and I love listening to it. I hope to someday find myself able to embrace Larry's philosophy of "game's over and you've won."

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The latest dumb thing my mind is doing to me

Four or five days ago I had one of those dreams that shocked me straight awake, screaming and scrambling out of bed. I was convinced that some sort of flesh eating, scaly skinned eels were eating my feet. In the dream, they had already swallowed me up to my ankles, making it impossible to move.

So, a bad dream, right? Should be no big deal.

But it is. I can't sleep unless I'm under my sheets and blanket. Now, after that dream, I remember those eels in the moment just before getting to sleep and wake straight back up. I can't get to sleep on top of the covers and I can't stay asleep under the covers.

In short, I'm very, very, very tired.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Pacific - To the point movie review

Young men of mostly European descent shoot at young men of mostly Asian descent on Pacific islands.*

2 out of 5 palm fronds

*To be fair, I didn't finish this miniseries. It is billed as a companion piece to Band of Brothers and in production value it certainly lives up to the standard set by that great series. However, it is so lacking in story telling and character development that by the end of the second episode I had no idea who was who or what was going on. Protracted, confusing, night-time battle scenes dominate the series which left me confused and frustrated.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Is it a coincidence that Eric Cantor and Eric Cartman sound so much alike?

Consider Cantor's negotiation technique: Why Eric Cantor Bailed


Cartman's technique:

Is it just me or is Cartman just Cantor all growed up?

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Words to live by... (I'm in a mood)

The Lord loves a working man.
Don't trust whitey.
See a doctor and get rid of it.

Monday, May 02, 2011

US Kills Osama Bin Laden

John Donne says any death diminishes us all; I say jubilation over death diminishes us all the more.

Meditation XVII, John Donne

PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that. The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all. When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member. And when she buries a man, that action concerns me: all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated; God employs several translators; some pieces are translated by age, some by sickness, some by war, some by justice; but God's hand is in every translation, and his hand shall bind up all our scattered leaves again for that library where every book shall lie open to one another. As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come, so this bell calls us all; but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness. There was a contention as far as a suit (in which both piety and dignity, religion and estimation, were mingled), which of the religious orders should ring to prayers first in the morning; and it was determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest. If we understand aright the dignity of this bell that tolls for our evening prayer, we would be glad to make it ours by rising early, in that application, that it might be ours as well as his, whose indeed it is. The bell doth toll for him that thinks it doth; and though it intermit again, yet from that minute that that occasion wrought upon him, he is united to God. Who casts not up his eye to the sun when it rises? but who takes off his eye from a comet when that breaks out? Who bends not his ear to any bell which upon any occasion rings? but who can remove it from that bell which is passing a piece of himself out of this world?

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by and made fit for God by that affliction. If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels. Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it. Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Le Dork d'Arthur

I've never cared for the Arthur character. I mean that exactly. I've never found him at all interesting. I don't hate him and I don't love him. He is presented as a pawn of destiny and, somehow, everyone is supposed to respect him for that. But, he's just a pawn.

The characters around Arthur are far more interesting, right? Merlin, the scheming chess master trying to fit Arthur in exactly the right spot, Arthur's sister -- whose name escapes me just now -- with her vicious response to a shitty homelife, his cheating wife, his cheating knight and all the others around him who partook in adventure while he sat serenely as the holy head of state; all of them are far more interesting than the man who seemed to allow himself to be mindlessly buffeted back and forth by fate right up until the end of his life.

I've only recently come to realize that this is why I've always been bored with Arthur. I never really gave it much thought but, there it is.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Hurt Locker - To the point movie review

Boys with toys kill each other and blow shit up in Iraq.
2/5 bootleg DVDs

Monday, March 28, 2011

Saving Grace - To the point movie review

Craig Ferguson grows marijuana in his boss's solarium.
4/5 seedlings

Dean Spanley - To the point movie review

When he was a boy, Peter O'Toole's dog died. Sam Neill remembers it when he drinks an Eastern European dessert wine.
5/5 glasses of tokaji

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Splitting Heirs - To the point movie review

Eric Idle sleeps with Catherine Zeta Jones and tries to kill Rick Moranis. And who among us hasn't wanted at least one of these things?
3/5 brandy flasks

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Tell-Tale - To the point movie review

A heart transplant recipient kills the people responsible.
4/5 black market livers

Cosi - To the point movie review

After burning down a theater, a group of Australian mental patients produce an opera.
3/5 matches

Monday, February 21, 2011

Oh, Harry!

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Why I'm more likely than my cat to win the Nobel Peace Prize

I am capable of both written and verbal communication.

I rarely throw-up on the floor, especially in front of others.

I'm often fully dressed, especially in public.

I'm a better cook.

Licking my privates has never been part of my cleaning ritual.

I usually use a toilet for my personal needs instead of a box of sand.

Not to be a foot-counting speciest but, I am bipedal giving me more in common with both the committee and past recipients.

I don't jump on the couch when I'm told not to.

I have never bitten anyone aggressively or defensively, thus contributing to world peace.

I can wear the medal around my neck without letting it drag on the floor.

I have a longer life expectancy than him which gives me more opportunities to win the prize.


I rarely sniff at others' dinner plates, especially when they're looking.

I can tie my own tie.

I'm not afraid of vacuum cleaners.

I am aware of the Nobel Peace Prize.

I can produce more references, both personal and professional.

I rarely beg when someone opens a can of tuna.

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Hangover - To the point movie review

Before getting married, a man survives over 30 hours of exposure in the Nevada desert. Comedy.
4/5 blue pills

It Gets Better

Part of the It Gets Better project.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

To the right-wingers defending Loughner's second amendment rights

The memo that's being passed around reads:

To everyone who is calling for stricter gun laws in light of the tragedy in Tucson, may I offer this little tidbit: If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat. Remember: Hold the person accountable for their actions, not the means they chose to utilize!

Listen, stupid, nobody is calling for the pardon of Jared Loughner. He horribly broke the law and should be brought to justice. But, we are concerned about the liberal gun laws that made it possible for this nut-job to get his hands on such a weapon. Think about it; by now we are all familiar with the disturbed rantings and action of this 'tard. Clearly, he wasn't a person that should have possessed a weapon and the signs were there.

We on the left don't want to prohibit you on the right to enjoy your gun fetishes. We just want a little more control to be exercised over the crazy dip-shits like Loughner.

Too much to ask? I don't think so.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Stay - To the point movie review

A single car accident on a bridge in New York city kills the driver and three passengers. Cool, trancy music.
4/5 paint brushes

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Stone of Destiny - To the point moview review

Scottish college kids steal an ancient stone from Westminster Abbey, take it to Scotland then give it to the police.
4/5 haggises

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Julie & Julia - To the point movie review

Meryl Streep plays Julia Child. Amy Adams invents blogging.
3/5 wooden spoons