Why I'm more likely than my cat to win the Nobel Peace Prize

I am capable of both written and verbal communication.

I rarely throw-up on the floor, especially in front of others.

I'm often fully dressed, especially in public.

I'm a better cook.

Licking my privates has never been part of my cleaning ritual.

I usually use a toilet for my personal needs instead of a box of sand.

Not to be a foot-counting speciest but, I am bipedal giving me more in common with both the committee and past recipients.

I don't jump on the couch when I'm told not to.

I have never bitten anyone aggressively or defensively, thus contributing to world peace.

I can wear the medal around my neck without letting it drag on the floor.

I have a longer life expectancy than him which gives me more opportunities to win the prize.

Thumbs.

I rarely sniff at others' dinner plates, especially when they're looking.

I can tie my own tie.

I'm not afraid of vacuum cleaners.

I am aware of the Nobel Peace Prize.

I can produce more references, both personal and professional.

I rarely beg when someone opens a can of tuna.